Tea?
Trendy coats, bedrolls, saddlebags, aw!
A surprise vacation just for the two of us.
How thoughtful!
I hear Puerto Caballo is lovely this time of year.
Sand like powdered sugar.
Um... Princess Celestia's taking us
on an overnight goodwill tour of Yakyakistan.
I just find out.
So what you are saying is...
No tea?
Ugh. Well.
That's fine. I wasn't thirsty anyway.
If you're looking for something to do,
you could spend the evening with Spike and Big Mac.
You aren't kidding.
They are very nice.
They have a "top secret" thing
they do whenever we leave Ponyville.
Although everypony knows about it,
so it's not a very good secret.
I think you'd have fun with them.
Fun? With sidekicks?
Oh, you must think that we're in a dimension
where everything is opposite.
Da-dee-la!
I'm Opposite Discord,
and I want to hang out with Spike and Big Mac!
I'm sure I'd have fun!
Well, guess what, Sassafras?!
I'm opposite Fluttershy,
and I'm sick of being nice and quiet all the time!
Let me explain it to you as simply as I can.
Me? Amazing!
Them? Well, I've already forgotten who we're talking about.
You see?
All I'm saying is
it's an opportunity to expand your circle of friends.
Unless you're afraid they won't like you?
Oh, please.
Don't stoop to tedious reverse psychology.
You're better than that.
It never hurts to make a new friends.
Consider it Considered.
Couldn't I just come with you instead?
I suppose this is goodbye then.
Have an absolutely fabulous voyage.
Discord...
Well, it's not my fault
the new train route leads into an active volcano.
Guess you'll have to stay.
Oh, you're no fun.
I got my bedroll, parka,
unattractive but functional hikin' boots...
Uh, anything I forgot, Pinkie Pie?
You're our resident Yakyakistan expert.
Nope! I brought yeti food!
Did I forget to mention there's
a pony-eating yeti on Frostfield Glacier?
We're gonna have so much fun!
Heh, if he messes with us,
I'll turn that yeti into confetti!
Heh, somepony's in an awful
quick hurry to get us out of here!
Don't y'all have too much fun without us!
I bet you boys have big plans, right, Spike?
I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about.
Although if I did,
I certainly wouldn't be allowed to discuss it with you girls.
Buh-bye!
Bye, y'all!
Yup.
Fascinating article, yes?
Don't let them come over,
please don't let them come over, please don't let them come over,
please, please please-
Oh, salutations, my friend!
Wish I could stay and chat, but I don't want to.
Wait!
Um, we were wondering,
what are you up to tonight?
Here we go...
Do you wanna, I don't know, hang out?
Is that like something you do?
Oh, Twilight's friend and Applejack's monosyllabic brother!
If only I weren't super busy this evening.
I guess guys' night will just be you and me.
A guys' night?
You mean a rowdy evening of reckless revelry?
Zoot suits, fedoras, swing dancing?
Eh, something like that. You should totally come.
Three of us will be way better than two...
That does sound fun, actually...
Too bad you're busy!
Well, I suppose I can squeeze you in
if I move a few very important ponies around.
June, honey, be a dear, reschedule Luna and KK.
That's what I call Princess Celestia, what a hoot!
In fact, clear the whole evening. Tonight is guys' night.
These fellas invited me to spice things up
and bring a little class to the whole affair.
Tonight will be the best night of your lives,
and not just because you get to bask in my greatness.
I do like basking in things.
See you tonight!
Twilight's castle.
The fun starts promptly at sundown.
Technically, the fun starts when I arrive,
but I'll make sure it's around sunset!
Adieu, fellas.
And... we have sundown.
Repeat, we have sundown.
I declear tonight's guys' night ceremonies officially open!
Eeyup!
- It's guys' night. - Yup.
- Oh yeah. - Yup.
- Havin' fun now. - Yup.
- Oh yeah! - Oh yeah!
What the hay?
Announcing the much anticipated arrival
of the spirit of chaos and disharmony,
the purveyor of pandemonium, lord of lawlessness,
earl of turmoil, bring of bedlam,
dun dah-dah-dun dah-dah-daaah!
Discord!
So, shall we hop to it?
I made a list of the rowdiest establishments in Ponyville.
It's rather short.
Actually, we're staying here!
I hope you like awesome games!
Games? I love games. I'm great at games.
Famous pony charades?
Oh, this is an easy one!
Who am I?
Huh? Huh?
Oh, come on!
Uh... I'm talkin' about a real game.
Oh, you mean like trapping best friend ponies
in hedge mazes and turning them against each other.
Those were the days.
Not exactly. Wait here.
Whatever it is, it can only get better by adding me to the mix.
Okay!
In a world where evil reigns supreme,
a small band of warriors stands tall against the darkness.
This is...
Ogres and Oubliettes.
Oh, this looks like...
The best game ever? You're right!
Yes...
Ogres and Oubliettes is a fantasy roleplaying adventure game.
Our goal, defeat the evil Squid Wizard, or,
as we call him,
the Squizard!
The Squizard has laid siege to the last free city in Spiketopia.
(That's the name of the land.)
He's kidnapped a beautiful unicorn princess, named Shmarity.
Uh, which is like a normal name in Spiketopia,
so, you know, don't think about it too much.
Fear not, your romantic delusions are safe with me.
First things first, you've gotta create a character!
Name?
How about... Discord?
The whole point of the game is you get to use
your imagination to be someone you're not!
I'm Garbunkle, a famous magician!
Everyone treats me with the utmost respect.
Just like in real life?
And don't get jealous, but I'm a level 30 Enchanter
with major skill points assigned to Intellect and Perception.
Go on, I'm listening.
Big Mac's character is Sir McBiggin,
a level 27 Black Knight Unicorn from Castle Jack!
I'm listening.
When his king aligned himself with the Squizard,
Sir McBiggin would not besmirch his honor.
Nnope!
I'm listening.
And so it came to pass, the magician and black knight
vowed to rid Spiketopia of the evil Squizard.
So, your character's name?
I already have the best name in the universe,
why would I change it for something like 'Captain Wuzz'?
Captain Wuzz it is!
What class are you, Captain Wuzz?
There's Archers, Mages, Rogues...
Can I suggest we take a break and,
I don't know, go out, and have some fun?
Ponyville's not going to paint itself red.
You'll love it once we get started!
How 'bout an Archer?
Sounds just as miserable as the other options.
So fine.
Sir McBiggin, are you prepared to enter
the world of Ogres and Oubliettes?
Eeyup.
Discord, or should I say, Captain Wuzz,
are you-
Oh, get on with it.
We find ourselves trapped in the dungeon of the evil Squizard.
The bars are locked tight.
The bars exist
in our imagination.
Really. You describe things,
and then we pretend it's real.
It is real.
In our imagination.
It's your turn first.
What do you wanna do?
Curse myself for attending this infernal evening?
Ohhh, no, you mean in the game.
You can do whatever you want.
Then, I roll this 20-sided die and see if you're successful.
I stick my head through the bars and demand
for the immediate release of the Lord of Chaos.
That's a big risk. You have to roll 17 or higher to succeed.
Oh, bad idea.
The guard gets mad.
This spell here, I transform him into a parsnip.
You need 11 Intelligent points to cast
a Transform Into Root Vegetable spell.
I'm not intelligent?
I cast it anyway because this game is stupid.
The spell backfires.
So your claws grow leaves and transform into parsnips!
Parsnips.
The guard laughs.
He calls his friends over, and they laugh too.
Don't you laugh at me, Big Mac!
Does it really say that?
Let me see.
As you get angrier, everypony else laughs harder!
I seal Sir McBiggin in a magic bubble
until he stops laughing!
I told you, you can't do magic!
Whoaa! Nope! Nope! Nope!
"Not intelligent enough." Please.
Cut it out, Discord!
Oh, this game is insufferable!
Let me show you a real guys night!
This is the life!
Jazz, dancing, the best table magic can buy!
This is what guys' night is all about,
am I right, fellas?
Eeyup!
I know you probably didn't do this on purpose,
but this table's the perfect size and shape!
I don't think so. Let's have a drink!
Chocolate milkshakes?
No, we want to go back to Ogres-
Oh, how about a different game?
Those are very bad cards.
Stop messing with us! We wanna-
Have a dance contest?
Surprise, we won!
Discord!
Yes?
Look, we don't wanna do these things.
We wanna play our game.
If you don't want to play with us,
you can, I don't know, sit and watch.
Sit and watch?
Fine, we'll play your game.
Are you ready to enter the world
of Ogres and Oubliettes?
Sir McBiggin?!
Eeyup!
And I'm... Garbunkle? That means...
Sweetness, we're in the game!
Check it out!
Ka-pow!
- It's guys night! - Eeyup!
- Oh yeah! - Yup!
- In the game now! - Yup!
- Oh yeah! - Oh yeah!
Discord, where are you?
This is great! You made the game real!
Aren't games fun?
Should we be worried he's using his scary voice?
Behold! I am the Squizard!
You're welcome.
Attack!
Run!
You find yourself on a battlefield.
A barrage of arrows rains down on you.
If you roll a 15 or higher, the shield protects you.
14 or lower and, well, ha-haaah!
You get the idea.
17! Lucky you!
Discord!
Sir McBiggin, I'd cover the entrance if I were you.
This isn't funny!
Isn't this what every gamer wants? To live the game?
Like this?!
Ugh!
This kinda hurts! Like, real pain!
Ah, how kind of you to notice.
It's the little details that really bring
alternate dimensions to life, wouldn't you say?
Discord, this is awful!
Of course it is!
Spiketopia will be mine!
And Rarity shall be my bride!
I mean, Shmarity.
Why are you doing this?
You're the worst!
If I'm the worst, then why did you invite me?
Because we felt bad for you!
Because you...
What?!
We're okay, we're okay!
No thanks to you, Discord!
You felt sorry for me?
Who wouldn't? Fluttershy told us
you practically begged her to stay!
And then at the train station,
you were just standing there, all alone!
This can't be, I'm supposed to feel
sorry for you because I'm me and you're you.
We only invited you to be nice! I mean, you're kind of a...
weirdo!
Eeyup.
I ruined your night, and you don't even think I'm cool?
Oh, how embarrassing.
I should go, I have a lot of other friends I need to see tonight.
Good!
Yes, so many other friends.
Farewell, Garbunkle the magician,
and brave Sir McBiggin!
May Providence smile upon thee in thy quest
to rid Spiketopia of the dreaded Squizard...
When you say it that way, the game doesn't sound half bad.
Oh well.
It... it's better this way, right?
Eeyup.
Because... now he can't bother us,
'cause he's off somewhere by himself.
All alone.
With... no friends.
Yup.
We find ourselves in the dungeon of the evil Squizard.
The bars are locked, and
Ah, who am I kidding.
We should give him another chance.
Captain Wuzz?
Can you hear me?
Oh! You realized how amazing I am,
and that I make you cooler just by being around me?
Oh, no, no, n- actually,
that's not what I meant to say...
I'm...
Thssssss.
What?
I'm thhhhhhhhhss-
Can't hear you.
Nope.
I'm trying to say I'm sorry, alright?
I'm sorry for ruining your game,
and I'm sorry that I thought I was better than you.
Now let's play before this evening gets any sappier, shall we?
Huh?
Yeah, yeah! Okay!
What if we forgot the board and pieces for a minute?
I mean, the whole 'game coming to life' was completely terrifying,
but also kind of the best thing ever!
So, uh, Big Mac and I were wondering,
what if you toned it down, just a teensy bit?
Huh?
I've got your back, Captain Wuzz!
Wha-hah!
Garbunkle! Follow my lead!
Bullseye!
Nice one!
It's guys' night, oh yeah, it's fun now, oh yeah!
We should just close the door and let them finish.
Whatever this... is.
No way.
Did you see Big Mac's sword?
I totally want in!
Yeah! I don't know what it is,
but it looks like super duper fun!
Guys' night!
Subtitles: MLPSubtitles
http://mlpsubtitles.com/
Transcript: OmegaBowser
Sync: Retropony
Check: Nicoz, Kawete